Kick Drum Heart

It feels late, and like I should be sleeping. It’s not even ten o’ clock.

Just as a forewarning, this is probably going to have typos; I’m writing from my phone, and I think too quickly to care whether or not the buttons I push are the right ones. So, forgive the misprints thsat I will probably fix later anyway.

So.

There are two things, or, okay, three, that are on my mind right now. And normally I hate to start off like that, it seems too cliche and “my essay is about…”

But oh well.

I miss my dog. Not only mine, my mother’s, too. That loving and loved yellow fat Potter.

God, even months and months later I still hurt like it was the day she died.

Secondly, I don’t want a boy. Let me just make this clear for my own sake. Especially one that would be too easy to crush on if he said the right things.

And to again make this clear for myself and anyone who cares, based on my experiences with the opposite gender, I now find that I have entirely too much dignity and self-respect to fall at the feet of anyone who says pretty things. Although it might surprise you, but I have a soft spot for pretty words and music and if anyone even made a half-assed attempt to charm me at present, it’s humiliating to think how easily I would swoon.

So as a reminder to me, I’m a bitch. Remember?

And lastly, I do and I don’t want to write this thirty-line poem for English. About my future that I barely have outlined, illustrating the comparison to the me who I was/am in high school? It’s entirely too meaningful to me. So I don’t want to do a crappy job. So I don’t want to do it. Entirely and totally too important to me.

And that’s all tonight; I’m for bed. Those are my thoughts for the evening.