Kick Drum Heart

It’s here.

It’s here it’s here it’s here!

Spring has finally come, and it seems like Summer is nudging its way up around her.

I’m almost afraid to go outside and enjoy the weather, just in case it’s faking. If I wake up tomorrow and there is a blizzard and twenty-degree weather again, I might cry, and I’m not even exaggerating. I might just start bawling my head off.

I just wanted to post this blog and find out what my iTunes store password is (I forgot it) and then I will be outside again. I let the dogs outside today for the first time since November.

I know it’s some pyschological crap, but I haven’t wanted to see Molley and Grizz, haven’t wanted to acknowledge winter. I’m sure it’s something to do with Potter’s death and pain by association. The winter part just tags along sluggishly and made spending time with the pair of them worse.

But now it’s warm out again, and my cranky, freezing heart is thawing and I’m happy.

I’m thankful to God right now that’s I’m happy. I’m thankful to God that I can feel Him here.

That’s why I stopped talking to Him before, because it felt like He wasn’t talking to me, or didn’t want to. I’m not going to examine that statement right now because I want to get on and offline and go away. But it’s just such a relief not to have to search for God. He’s right here, with me. All the time. It feels like I’m never alone, and I guess that means I’m not.

And, well, whatever. Enough with the philosophical babbling, because hey! It’s warm outside! And gorgeous, despite the stinking piles of snow littering my backyard and the thick slabs of ice crusting the pool and pond. Whatever whatever.

I’m going out on the bare, warm deck to write while my silly cats look on.