Kick Drum Heart


Smells like spring

I want all of this snow to be gone, today. I’m seriously on board with the idea that the only reason I love Western New York winters is the fact that hockey season encompasses all of these stupid freezing months.

Uhg. But! It smells like spring outside. One might wonder how I know what spring smells like.

When you live in the country and pay attention, and look forward to sunshine as much as I do, you freaking just know.

I almost want to go for a walk today, despite the snow that still pollutes the ground in frigid layers. I could probably pretend there’s grass, if I wanted.

But I don’t; I have to clean my room, and I’ve done No Homework over this short week of break. I suppose I made up for not doing anything by auditioning at Eastman– that’s how I’m regulating my guilt (haha).

I’m almost excited to clean today, though. It’s like a rite of springtime: Kim Moves Back to Room.

My room’s in the basement, you see, and during crap temperatures it normally stays around, oh, fifty. Not exactly appealing for warm-blooded mammals like myself. So I’ve been bunking on the couch, and yes, that sucks.

Today, I move back in. It’s a certifiable disaster zone, but I’ll fix it. And it’ll almost be like spring.



Lemon cleaner

Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.

The fresh puffs of lemony-pine wood cleaner skimming through the air, wildly guitar-laden strains of Chickenfoot and Pat Benatar flying at me, and the disinfected gleam of my room’s Pergo oak flooring all are calling to me this morning.

It’s not even nine, and I’ve been bumming around the house for an hour wanting to get down in my little cupboard below the stairs and chisel away at the mess that’s accumulated since the flood. I haven’t had the time or inclination to pick any of it up.

Now that I have more (more!) new clothes (and I’m feeling not only a female smugness because I’m going to look good this year, but a little uncomfortable trickle of guilt because I have so many new clothes), I’m getting the urge to make the place look inhabitable. I’m going to be a senior after all, seventeen years old next month, and my room looks like a regular pig sty. It should be spic and span and spiffy. Sophisticated, with a delicate trace of clutter (I really am a weird artist, when you get down to it, and personally if something’s too perfect I have to smudge it up a little.)

So after I shower in maybe five minutes, I’m traipsing down, jamming to guitar riffs, and hopefully making the place suitable for my last full year at home.

Oh God oh God.

My last full year at home.

Okay, so it’s just started to hit me that Emma and Hannah and Kiener are off to college, finally. They’re gone, they’re in their dorms, they start classes Monday.

Exactly a year from now, That Will Be Me.

So holy shit holy shit holy shit.



Snowflakes are all on the ground

It’s 2:35, and clear as a bell.


Yeah, it stormed like the dickens from eight until one. But guess what? The school day starts at seven-twenty-one and ends at two o’ seven.


Oh, well, though. I’m not so crazy-negative like I was earlier, but I have had a pretty pointless day. I ate Christmas cookies, my sister beat me at Monopoly, and I crocheted a little bit. Now I’m going to go clean (gag) and then work on NHS papers or read. Later tonight we’re going to Doc Boy’s for Christmas with Grandma. No West Point to keep me entertained this time, though, so I might bring NHS papers there. I highly doubt there will be any great deal of stimulating activity.


I wish there would have been school, but whatever. The “Ball” was postponed until after break, and I’m sitting here will an unworn dress and sick heels I’m saving for then.


And it’s time to clean now, which is probably why the tone of this post stayed so negative. Sorry.