Not so swell
4 August 2009, 10:55 pm
Filed under:
My Day,
My Explanations,
Random Thoughts,
Ranting | Tags:
achy,
angry,
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bed,
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bug bites,
caitlin,
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checking in,
cheering,
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different,
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doesn't matter,
done,
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everywhere,
exaggerated,
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first,
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translation,
usually,
views,
whirlwind,
won't work out,
wonder,
wordpress,
write,
yesMy first thought upon logging onto wordpress was, yes! I have spam!
It really doesn’t matter to me about receiving views and comments and whatever. I mean, this is for me to write and ramble on, and if someone happens to stumble across it and like it (or not like it) then great.
But I’d forgotten how cheering it is to know that someone actually saw the page. Someone’s checking in, someone cares. It makes me smile.
On a different hand, I’ve had a constant headache today. I don’t know if it’s the shift in energy– with Caitlin here everything seems more exaggerated, more energized, and I’m not used to that kind of hyperactivity. I’m usually a laid-back kind of girl, unless something needs to get done. Then I’m driven, but not (usually) to the point of frenzy. The house has been a whirlwind of frenzy lately.
So, I’m ready for some downtime. I’ll admit it. I’m just tired and achy and a little pissed. Why pissed? one might wonder.
Well, I guess I’m not really angry, per se. Just a little peeved. But when you suggest making plans with someone and then never get back to them, it’s irksome to the one you don’t get back to. Translation: goddammit, if I said I’d text you back about the plans we were going to have, I fricken would. No question. I don’t leave a friend hanging.
And I guess I was left hanging.
It doesn’t matter, and I’m not cranky because oh no, he might not “like” me. I’m cranky because it’s simple common courtesy to say if the plans won’t work out. And I’m not bitching about bad manners, necessarily, but I’d do it for my friends. I’d tell them when something was going to fall through.
Oh, yeah, and I have bug bites effing everywhere and I’m itching like the dickens. It’s too warm and I feel disgusting and did I mention I have a headache?
I’m going to bed. And hopefully just go right to sleep instead of brooding over issues I have no control over and will only constantly think on if I don’t.
Well, it’s another day
3 August 2009, 9:44 pm
Filed under:
Writing | Tags:
:),
belting,
can't,
decent,
details,
figure,
flutter,
good moon,
happy,
hopefully,
hour and a half,
improperly,
insignificant,
internalize,
irksome,
join,
letter,
life,
little,
lots,
michael,
opera,
others,
peaceful,
possibilities,
postcard,
singing,
six,
small,
stop,
stop thinking,
stressful,
tell,
think,
three,
three minutes,
time,
what if i never find out?,
what-ifs,
whirring,
woods,
worse,
WritingToday was a day of thinking. I got a postcard from Michael! So I went to the woods and sat and wrote him a six-page letter that took me an hour and a half and three minutes. While writing, my mind was whirring with possibilities. What can I tell Michael?
Lots, it turns out :)
As I wrote, I also thought about the little, stressful details twining around my days lately. Just small things that grate away at my good mood until I can’t do anything but dwell on them. I told Michael some of my problems, and I internalized the others. I’ll get rid of them by singing, either opera or belting it out improperly.
It’s just irksome to know that after such a decent stretch of time feeling peaceful and happy, I find myself stressing over insignificant things.
And then come the what-ifs that flutter in to join the other stuff.
But the way I figure, I can spend my whole life thinking, “What if it’s this? What if it’s that?”
Well what if I never find out? That would be worse, I would think.
So hopefully over the next few days I’ll stop thinking so much again. I’ll stop fretting. Hopefully.
Kick Drum Heart 
Filed under: My Day, My Explanations, Random Thoughts, Ranting | Tags: achy, angry, bad manners, bed, bitching, bug bites, caitlin, cares, checking in, cheering, comment, comments, common courtest, constant, constantly, dickens, different, disgusting, doesn't matter, done, downtime, driven, energized, energy, everywhere, exaggerated, fall through, first, forgotten, frenzy, friend, get back to them, girl, goddammit, going to bed, great, hand, hanging, headache, hopefully, hyper, hyperactive, hyperactivity, i would, i'd tell them, irksome, issues, itching, laid-back, left, like, like the dickens, logging on, lose control, matter, needs, never, no control, no question, not crank y, not like, not necessarily, not used, oh no, page, peeved, per se, pissed, plans, ramble, said, saw, say, shift, sleep, smile, spam, stumble, suggest, think, thought, tired, too warm, translation, usually, views, whirlwind, won't work out, wonder, wordpress, write, yes
My first thought upon logging onto wordpress was, yes! I have spam!
It really doesn’t matter to me about receiving views and comments and whatever. I mean, this is for me to write and ramble on, and if someone happens to stumble across it and like it (or not like it) then great.
But I’d forgotten how cheering it is to know that someone actually saw the page. Someone’s checking in, someone cares. It makes me smile.
On a different hand, I’ve had a constant headache today. I don’t know if it’s the shift in energy– with Caitlin here everything seems more exaggerated, more energized, and I’m not used to that kind of hyperactivity. I’m usually a laid-back kind of girl, unless something needs to get done. Then I’m driven, but not (usually) to the point of frenzy. The house has been a whirlwind of frenzy lately.
So, I’m ready for some downtime. I’ll admit it. I’m just tired and achy and a little pissed. Why pissed? one might wonder.
Well, I guess I’m not really angry, per se. Just a little peeved. But when you suggest making plans with someone and then never get back to them, it’s irksome to the one you don’t get back to. Translation: goddammit, if I said I’d text you back about the plans we were going to have, I fricken would. No question. I don’t leave a friend hanging.
And I guess I was left hanging.
It doesn’t matter, and I’m not cranky because oh no, he might not “like” me. I’m cranky because it’s simple common courtesy to say if the plans won’t work out. And I’m not bitching about bad manners, necessarily, but I’d do it for my friends. I’d tell them when something was going to fall through.
Oh, yeah, and I have bug bites effing everywhere and I’m itching like the dickens. It’s too warm and I feel disgusting and did I mention I have a headache?
I’m going to bed. And hopefully just go right to sleep instead of brooding over issues I have no control over and will only constantly think on if I don’t.