Purple
28 January 2009, 10:01 am
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Random Thoughts | Tags:
1,
10:30,
11:45,
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ahhh,
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amethyst,
ass,
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best,
blow,
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yumMauve, violet, lavender, amethyst. It goes by myriad monikers but it otherwise known as purple.
I am rocking the purple today. My lips are mauve, fingernails royal purple, and my scarf is laced with lavender and plum. I am ready to go into the english regents and come out victorious.
This morning, I have consumed an entire pot of coffee, so with all luck I won’t start drowsing in the middle of the final half of my english exam. Out of all the tests, I have a feeling that I’m going to get the best grade on this one (a good thing, because I’m sure my chemistry Regents are going to blow and I’ll need this grade for an average booster).
I’m feeling a little jittery, but I’m pretty sure that’s the coffee speaking through me, har har.
I got up at six thirty to the sound of my sister, breaking dishes. She dropped an entire stack of plates and they smashed. Thankfully, she wasn’t hurt, and they weren’t the new plates I just got my mother for Christmas. Phew.
I am so ready for this! I just want to go and get it over with. I have to wait for the bus to get here; even though we’re supposed to get there at 11:45, he said he’d be here around ten-thirty, so it’s like, ahhh. Hmmm. Okay, so I’ll be there an hour early. I guess I can go do yearbook.
It’s blizzarding out, too, and I’m not positive when exactly he will be getting here. I’m the only one who needs picking up, too. Uhg… Well, I guess I can make conversation, even though I’d rather continue getting pumped up via the music on my iPod.
I’ve been blasting the music all morning since my family left. I’ve visited Funkytown, jumped on it, done it in the road, felt untouched and turned the music up. It’s all been fairly helter skelter.
I just need to pee and brush my teeth and I will be completely ready. Hoo boy. I am going to kick this exam’s ass. Be ready, English Regents, you won’t have seen a score like mine.
Ahh, oh no, this Is Not Cool
22 December 2008, 2:54 pm
Filed under:
My Day,
Ranting | Tags:
500%,
adios,
bad,
cleaning,
crap,
damn,
earring,
find,
lost,
missing,
Not Cool,
papers,
positive,
school,
shit,
stuff,
tomorrow,
vanishedSo, I can’t find anything. Not Mom’s missing earring, not my NHS stuff. Shitttt.
This is bad, very bad. Because I am almost 500% positive they’re not cancelling school tomorrow and I need that stuff. Like need need that stuff.
This means more cleaning. God damn.
No Answer Yet
11 October 2008, 2:11 pm
Filed under:
Dreams | Tags:
alive,
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Dreams,
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unlimited,
wal-martI had a sad dream this morning. I can’t remember or understand what made it so sad, but it made me angry, too, because I don’t think I should have to wake up and drown in melancholy. I have no control over my dreams when I’m in such a deep sleep, and I’ve been so busy lately that that’s the only kind of sleep I get. I hate being out of my own control: having my emotions manipulated while I’m not in an aware state of consciousness drives me nuts.
The “in control” train of thought dragged me to the question, “What would I like to do with the rest of my life?”
Early mornings do that to me: push me in front of difficult, almost out-of-the-blue questions that steamroll over me and leave me desperate for another cup of strong coffee. (Nine seemed early, I was exhausted and dad had just woken me up to say he was leaving and that I should go back to sleep… yeah, sure.)
Well, I honestly don’t think I’d mind so much being a teacher. A high school English teacher, who directed the school musical. Ha, it’s realistic enough thinking, isn’t it?
Then I hear the crashing of my dreams as they fall to the ground, and the ominous clank of doors shutting all around me– opportunities wasted if I go into teaching instead of performing.
After Broadway, I tell myself. After I’m starring on Broadway, I can think about what to do with the rest of my life. How to make it a life I would treasure, how to make every minute sparkle with the joy of being alive.
That happens now, the sparkliness. After all that happened last year, I’ve figured out how to make everything glitter and gleam and glow with optimism (or if not optimism, at least a positive kind of enjoyment in my negativity– i.e., I’m glad I’m alive to be pessimistic, instead of dead and, well, dead). I’m pleased to say I’ve learned how to put a lighthearted twist on almost everything, instead of dwelling on an immense amount of ridiculous notions that I don’t have any control over.
But the rest of my life? My future? College and a job? I have control over that, I just have no idea as to how I should go about exercising that control. There are an infinite amount of colleges to choose from, and branching from there spiral limitless choices: what major, what minor, on- or off-campus? Good food or good professors? Instant fame in a tiny little school or be a small fish in a big pond?
How am I supposed to make these decisions?! They will affect me for the rest of my life!
Microphone and stage makeup or SmartBoard marker and Wal-Mart shoes!?
Kick Drum Heart 