Drifting
18 May 2009, 6:13 pm
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acoustic,
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yearbookI wish I could do that right now. Just drift, float along the strains and percussive sweetness of Andy McKee’s fricken awesome song. But I can’t. Even though I feel stressed and out of it and tired, and like I’m just treading water until time passes, I can’t relax and let the tide sweep me away. I have to keep going, pushing myself and my muscles to move, to keep me from drowning.
I have sooo much shit to do. What’s new, right? But this time, it’s do or die. If I don’t bring my chem grade up, I am legitimately, for the first time in my life, going to fail a course. And I really want to get into Advanced Art. AND musical tryouts are coming up, and NYSSMA solofest is the weekend of the Hollywood Happening, and I am auditioning on level 6 All State solos for xylo and voice. And the kicker? I have an AP US History test this Wednesday, and hardly any time to study for it. Except right now. Ha ha. I have to go to a baseball game and take pictures shortly, also. Maybe I’ll beg off to stay home and study, but then mom would be confused and I’d have to explain the date and importance of that dumb AP test.
Oh, and did I mention boys? Always at the busiest times in my life I start to get exceptionally fond of them, and then I get even more strained. I think it’s the nice weather, everyone’s twitterpated. Ha, I love Bambi. :) But yeah. So, stress. Now I’m being compelled off of wordpress and toward my Advanced Art essay. Damn it, why can’t I just drift away?
Purple
28 January 2009, 10:01 am
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10:30,
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yumMauve, violet, lavender, amethyst. It goes by myriad monikers but it otherwise known as purple.
I am rocking the purple today. My lips are mauve, fingernails royal purple, and my scarf is laced with lavender and plum. I am ready to go into the english regents and come out victorious.
This morning, I have consumed an entire pot of coffee, so with all luck I won’t start drowsing in the middle of the final half of my english exam. Out of all the tests, I have a feeling that I’m going to get the best grade on this one (a good thing, because I’m sure my chemistry Regents are going to blow and I’ll need this grade for an average booster).
I’m feeling a little jittery, but I’m pretty sure that’s the coffee speaking through me, har har.
I got up at six thirty to the sound of my sister, breaking dishes. She dropped an entire stack of plates and they smashed. Thankfully, she wasn’t hurt, and they weren’t the new plates I just got my mother for Christmas. Phew.
I am so ready for this! I just want to go and get it over with. I have to wait for the bus to get here; even though we’re supposed to get there at 11:45, he said he’d be here around ten-thirty, so it’s like, ahhh. Hmmm. Okay, so I’ll be there an hour early. I guess I can go do yearbook.
It’s blizzarding out, too, and I’m not positive when exactly he will be getting here. I’m the only one who needs picking up, too. Uhg… Well, I guess I can make conversation, even though I’d rather continue getting pumped up via the music on my iPod.
I’ve been blasting the music all morning since my family left. I’ve visited Funkytown, jumped on it, done it in the road, felt untouched and turned the music up. It’s all been fairly helter skelter.
I just need to pee and brush my teeth and I will be completely ready. Hoo boy. I am going to kick this exam’s ass. Be ready, English Regents, you won’t have seen a score like mine.
Love-hate
11 December 2008, 10:06 pm
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xylophoneI love the xylophone.
I hate wasted potential. And wasted time.
I was talking to Kenny today, after a shitty “lesson”– where we just practiced our solos. That wouldn’t have been so awful, except Fried decided that Paul, Kenny, and I should all practice in the aud; we can’t socialize, can’t help one another on our solos. Just straight practice.
And again, that wouldn’t have been so bad. But she was bitching at Kenny for being at the grand piano, and then demanded to know if we were messing around– I had just gotten into the aud, and he was just sitting there. She also yelled at Paul (which I’m fine with), but she was downright cranky. She was in band this morning, too.
That bothers me– that she doesn’t bother to attempt to understand what her students are feeling. She doesn’t try to make band an enjoyable experience. Some days it is, others it isn’t. I hate that. Making music should be a learning experience, a team exercise, and an individual pleasure, at least in my book.
A difficult teacher with mood swings isn’t the best conduit for useful knowledge. : ( It makes me sad.
I was grumpy today, too, because Paul doesn’t give a shit. He has the potential to be very good, very talented, but he just shrugs and says either “This is gay” or “Whatever.”
I guess I’ve just been in a snappish mood today. I was cranky and angry in English, and in my lesson. It’s unlike me. I don’t know if I’m turning over some unusual leaf or just venting frustration.
Who knows.
Well, until later, then. I need to shower, then it’s off to play rehearsal, where I can do the chem homework I have due tomorrow, work on my AP essay, and maybe knit a little bit. Knitting is calming, right?
Kick Drum Heart 