Kick Drum Heart


Cloudy, grey

I did not go skating. It was exceptionally chilly, so after two trips back indoors for extra clothes and an iPod and phone deposit, I made my way outside to freeze with the dogs. We couldn’t find a ball, so we made do with randomly galloping around the backyard. Over stumps, rocks, and piles of accumulated bramble we went, me, then Grizz beside me, Potter lagging slightly behind. Molley would run for a moment or two, then something would catch her interest, and off she’d go to explore an intriguing scent, shape, or movement. After about a half hour we went back into the garage, where I fed them dog treats, harrassed Grizz, praised Potter and ignored poor Molley. Out of the three of them, she has the least dominant personality. A little snippy, shy, and protective, she tends to roll with whatever her brother and mother get up to. The lowest-in-the-pack role extracts a sweet and submissive nature, though. When she was a little puppy we called her Sweetie, not knowing that we’d be keeping her. The nickname suited her then and now. She might be the quietest, but she’s easily the calmest-natured.

The dogs’ stories can wait for another day, however; I’m tutoring in about eight minutes. The lesson’s nicely timed out on paper, and I’m all energized and ready to hammer out some math facts. It might be break, but the mind always needs exercise, right?

After teaching, Katie’s coming over and then we might go see Rod’s puppies before heading to Chelsea’s with apple fritters. Fun stuff.

Tomorrow’s New Year’s Eve, which might mean even more fun stuff. Or it could mean Katie and I drowning in ennui all by our lonesomes. Hrmm. We’ll see.



Twenty yawns per hour is my record

I am exhausted. My skin’s so dry it’s itchy and my eyes are searing with fatigue. I want to go to bed, but it’s not even close to bedtime.

Another yawn comes on again as I sit here thinking over my busy schedule. All county rehearsal tomorrow after school, then I go home to tutor a girl at four. At five I get to shower, then rush around and try to make sure Michelle and I are ready to go back down to the school for the chorus concert at six. Hours later, I’ll finally reach home and have time to myself… which I will put to use studying for the AP History test Thursday and finishing any English homework we might have.

Tomorrow will most surely be a “hump day”– where you have to keep going and going until you’re over the hypothetical hump and rolling into Thursday, which inevitably leads to Friday, which then leads to…

Saturday. Saturday is my shining red beacon in the midst of this hectic, tumultuous week.

My focus right now is to just get through tomorrow, though. Then maybe things will calm down a little.

…or maybe not.

Now I’m going to go help my sister understand trapezoids. Now I’m going to go help my sister understand trapezoids.

Shit, I seriously just typed that twice. Ahhh, I’m leaving that. I need some sleep.



Love-hate

I love the xylophone.

I hate wasted potential. And wasted time. 

I was talking to Kenny today, after a shitty “lesson”– where we just practiced our solos. That wouldn’t have been so awful, except Fried decided that Paul, Kenny, and I should all practice in the aud; we can’t socialize, can’t help one another on our solos. Just straight practice.

And again, that wouldn’t have been so bad. But she was bitching at Kenny for being at the grand piano, and then demanded to know if we were messing around– I had just gotten into the aud, and he was just sitting there. She also yelled at Paul (which I’m fine with), but she was downright cranky. She was in band this morning, too.

That bothers me– that she doesn’t bother to attempt to understand what her students are feeling. She doesn’t try to make band an enjoyable experience. Some days it is, others it isn’t. I hate that. Making music should be a learning experience, a team exercise, and an individual pleasure, at least in my book.

A difficult teacher with mood swings isn’t the best conduit for useful knowledge. : (  It makes me sad.

I was grumpy today, too, because Paul doesn’t give a shit. He has the potential to be very good, very talented, but he just shrugs and says either “This is gay” or “Whatever.”

I guess I’ve just been in a snappish mood today. I was cranky and angry in English, and in my lesson. It’s unlike me. I don’t know if I’m turning over some unusual leaf or just venting frustration.

Who knows.

Well, until later, then. I need to shower, then it’s off to play rehearsal, where I can do the chem homework I have due tomorrow, work on my AP essay, and maybe knit a little bit. Knitting is calming, right?