Filed under: Dreams, My Day, My Explanations, Random Thoughts, Writing | Tags: 2:08, basketball, blog, bus, done, fantastic, go, ha, home, house, laze, leg, lines, mrs. propp, nothing, Olympia, play, purple, realize, rehearsal, salad, seat, shoelaces, shot, sit, tonight, twelve, two oh eight, yearbook, yellow
So, I got on the bus today. Right at two oh eight. And upon sitting down in a seat, I realized that there was absolutely nothing I could get done at home. I’d be lazing around the house for four hours, accomplishing nothing. And eating.
So, I stood back up and walked off the bus. And back into school.
So, here I am, seated at Mrs. Propp’s computer, blogging and yearbooking and thinking about food.
I really want an Olympia salad. That would be fantastic.
Anyway. There’s a basketball game tonight, at home. I really want to go, but I have play rehearsal.
Come on, it’s not like I do anything at play, anyway. Until I know all of my (twelve) lines, there’s not really much I can do but observe where I move. And how to jump when my leg gets shot. Ha.
I’d need blue clothes, anyway. Maybe my mother will come to the game and bring me some. And some of Olympia’s salad.
On another note, I got a hug today. I passed this kid that I think I like walking in the hallway during twelfth. He said, “Hey, you,” and I honestly almost turned around to see who he was talking to. But it was me, ha ha. So I gave him a hug and he mumbled at me politely and then we went our separate ways.
I think I make him nervous. I know I make him awkward.
Whatever, though. I’d like a guy I can talk to about anything, who argues with me, and who knows when and what I’m feeling. I’d like a guy who doesn’t expect me to be experienced in everything sexual. I’d like a guy who can text me and have more to talk to me about than sex.
But for now, well. I guess I’ll settle with the one I have in mind now. The one with silly shoelaces and flippy hair who I never see to talk to. The one everyone says is so sweet. The one that doesn’t make any sense for me to be crushing on.
Yep, I think I’ll stick with him, regardless of the senselessness. As Katie is fond of quoting, “It’s not the years in your life, but the life in your years.” And my years have been pathetically lacking in life lately.
Filed under: My Day, My Explanations, Random Thoughts | Tags: advertise, advertisement, advertising, again, blog, blogging, Blogs, bog, bogged, bogged down, brilliance, certainly, check it out, cheese, constant, controversial, controversy, creep-ass, creep-asses, day, death, distract, distracting, distraction, do not, don't, down, enjoy, evening, eventually, excited, far, form, fun, garlic, getting my mind off of things, girl, go, going, going out, grinding, head, heavy, hedgehog, highly, homemade, hope, house, idea, ideas, issue, issues, katie, keep, leave, magnificence, magnificent, many, mind, mine, need, new, one, pizza, pizza-baking, play, play out, pressing, proud, public, reading, regret, regrets, relief, reo speedwagon, reservations, revamp, revamped, sauce, shake, shake it off, shakin' it loose, show, sick, so far, someone, sonic, sonic the hedgehog, start, straight, stress, stress relief, take, talk, thediamondrough.wordpress.com, therapeutic, therapy, thinking, thoughts, today, trank, trippy, unrelenting, whir, whirring, will, without, working, you know
…that’s what Katie’s saying about Sonic the Hedgehog right now, anyhow.
What a day it’s been. My head is still working, grinding out new thoughts and ideas that I can’t really keep straight. Katie’s done a lot to help me with them, though. If you ever need someone to talk to (not that I’m advertising her to creep-asses) she’s your girl.
She’s going to start blogging again, too. I showed her how I revamped mine (I was so proud, haha) and now she’s excited. I am, too. Her brilliance should be make public for sure.
It’s magnificence can be located here. Anyone who’s reading this is highly advised to check it out :)
After Trank leaves today, I’m going to go have some fun. A form of stress relief, if you will. Today’s been filled with many pressing issues and I’m just sick to death of having my mind whirring away at me. So, I’m going out (but eventually into a house) and I’m going to enjoy an evening without reservations and without regrets. Therapeutic pizza-baking can only take one so far, you know.
At least, that’s how I hope the evening is going to play out. I’m just so bogged down with new and controversial ideas. I need to shake it off. It’s not that I mind thinking: I certainly don’t. But when it’s constant and unrelenting and heavy, that’s when I start to think I need a distraction.
Here’s to getting my mind off of things. Cheers.
Filed under: My Day, My Explanations, Random Thoughts | Tags: act, act ii, activities, activity, because, book, bother, busy, conditioning, damn, different, drop, ferocious, fierce, fifteen, gym, hall, ii, involved, key, keyboard, keyboarding, keys, me, minute, minutes, mrs., mrs. propp, murder, occupied, of, off, off book, out, out of shape, play, propp, really, resume, sh, shape, shit, study, study hall, suck, sucked, sucky, time, today, tonight, toodles, track, train, training, typing, when, work, working, Writing, yearbook, yep
I’m really busy.
As if I’ve never realized it before.
I’m working on my resume for keyboarding, and it’s reminding me that I really am involved in so many different activities– and I want to do track?! When am I going to find the time? I need to train something fierce; I ran fifteen minutes straight in gym today and I was winded. Maybe I should drop my study hall for conditioning, but then Mrs. Propp would murder me, because I use that time for yearbook.
Yep. I’m pretty damn busy. So busy that I’m not going to bother writing any more because Act II for play tomorrow is off book and tonight I had none of my lines memorized. That was sucky. So, toodles. I got shit to do.
Filed under: My Day, Random Thoughts | Tags: awful, bad, basketball, basketball game, bitchy, concession stand, concessions, cranky, disapproval, done, energy, excited, exhausted, feeling, feelings, fin, finished, finito, frustrated, game, good, happy, keyboarding, long, lovely, mood, muttering, national honor society, nhs, no, oh no, pillow, pillows, play, play rehearsal, powerful, productive, Ranting, raving, ruthless, sink, sinking, sleep, sucks, thoughts, time, tired, unhappy, Writing
I was so tired today. And less-than-energetic. And Little Richter wouldn’t shut up in keyboarding and it drove me insane. Plus, I have resumes and National Honor Society crap to do… not that it’s crap. It’s just stressful and time-consuming, when I have such little time to begin with.
It’s amazing I find time for this writing. I’m going to continue to find the time, though, because I’m sure this is good for me.
I really want to sleep right now. It’s too early, and I have things to do, but I really wouldn’t mind just drifting back into pillows and drowsing. It sounds so lovely, and peaceful.
I’m excited for tonight, though, I suppose. Play rehearsal, and then a basketball game to work (concessions). I hope play is productive. Sometimes we really don’t get anything done, and today, I’m honestly not feeling so peppy and friendly. I worry that I might get frustrated and cranky and bitchy. I hate it when I’m like that, despite how ruthless and powerful unchecked rantings make me feel (ruthless and powerful). It’s the after-bitching phase that sucks: the looks your friends give you and the muttering, and the sinking, awful feeling that maybe, shit, I just did something wrong.
Society disapproves of my bad mood. Oh no.
Filed under: Random Thoughts | Tags: antigone, apollo, belief, believe, bishop, castle, chess, choice, choices, creon, decide, decisions, delphi, destiny, diagonal, disgusting, drama, fate, game, greece, greek, human, incest, ismene, jocasta, king, late, mom, mother, oedipus, oedipus rex, oedipus the king, oracle, play, queen, random, rex, rook, rumor, sophocles, sphinx, thebes, thoughts, tired, tiresias, tragedy
I honestly believe that ignorance is bliss. Take a look at Oedipus in Sophocles’ Greek tragedy, Oedipus Rex. If he had just ignored the oracles and seers that tended to pop up all over the damn place he could have continued living happily. He could have cheeerily gone and gotten some hanky panky on with his wife, Jocasta, without feeling extremely disgusting because he’d just done the dirty with his momma. But no, he listened to rumor, he listened to the Oracle at Delphi, and he simply couldn’t even be bothered to try and quench the burning curiosity he felt when it came to the circumstances surrounding his birth. If he’d lived in ignorance, he wouldn’t have lived such a cursed life.
Because I do not believe that Fate lays out our destinies before us. Yes, there might be obstacles set up along the way by some higher power. Okay, cool. But we choose– we decide– what we do with those obstacles. You can’t tell me that the starving is the “fate” of the millions of emaciated children in third world countries. You cannot convince me that my fate is to end up where some fantastical god moves me.
I am not a pawn. I am not a queen, either. But on the chessboard of life, I consider myself a rook or a bishop (preferably a bishop, I like diagonals more than I like straight lines)– I have restrictions, like any human being. But I can do as much with the game as I want to, even if that means being taken out of the playing because of my own stupidity.
On the other end of the metaphorical spectrum, however, I could also end up checkmating the other guy, as a bishop.
Hmm. It must be late, for me to be making comparisons to chess about life. Time for me to get diagonally to bed.
Kick Drum Heart 