Filed under: Events, My Day, My Explanations | Tags: at least, boisterous, bones, book, carry, conclusions, cried, cry, december 26, dog, easy, everything, experience, experiences, fact, fail, family, fifty, giant, goal, goals, grizz, grogan, home, husband, initiative, innocent, jennifer grogan, john grogan, katie, knees, lab, labrador retriever, life, long-term, love, marley, marley & me, marley and me, mascara, me, michelle, molley, molley grace, mom, movie, music, mutt, new year's, personality, plan, plans, poignant, potter, resolution, scared, school, sexy, shaking, story, sweet, teach, teaching, tears, terrified, terror, theater, touching, try, unconditional, unsatisfied, vocalist, who knows?, who will?, willpower, years, yellow lab
I went with Katie, Michelle, and Mom to see “Marley and Me” in theatres today.
I cried.
It’s the story of a yellow lab whose eating habits and boisterous personality drive the Grogan family to insanity and to laughter in turns. I loved it. The dog is so sweet and innocent. And loves his family unconditionally, as good dogs do. It was a touching and poignant story and I was fully prepared to brutally knee the jerk that called it “cheesy” in the balls, but that would have meant charging over to him with the tears still wet on my face and mascara smeared down the side of my head. I looked a little torn up. We all did. The movie evoked almost every human emotion available and left me feeling like a used dishrag.
The entire time, I couldn’t stop thinking of our own yellow labrador, Potter, and how loyal and loving she’s been even though our family is one that’s constantly in motion and only home long enough (as a rule) to let the dogs out to use the bathroom. It made me want to race home and hug each of my dogs– all of whom I’ve seen grow from little puppies into mature dogs, even if Grizz still doesn’t know the difference between “speak” and “shut up, you crazy beast”– they both mean the same thing to him.
I also came face-to-face with the fact that life isn’t nearly long enough. As much as it terrifies me, I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t just sit back and let things happen. I’ve got to take the initiative. If I don’t, who will? As I mentioned to Katie, I’ll end up fifty years old and sitting in my giant house with only echoes for company. I refuse to let that happen! I don’t know what my long-term plans in life are. I might just want a sexy European lover and a hectic life as a phenomenal vocalist. Or, I could pick an simple life with a country home, five kids, a loving husband, and a giant attack-mutt, educating the local schoolchildren in music theory.
Or, hey, I could end up with the giant dog, founding schools in third-world countries with a sexy European husband and four kids.
Who knows?
But see, now, short-term plans are less complicated. I can figure out what I want from life in the here and now, and get it. Or at least try.
Although, I’m ashamed to admit, the thought of failure has me terrified past my trembling knees and down into my very blood.
I’ve got to work past the fear. I don’t want to be that white-haired lady alone and unsatisfied. Even if I fail at everything I attempt to make happen, that will be my life, and I will have experiences to fill the timeline when I look back on it.
My resolve and willpower will carry me beyond my shaking bones and into a future filled with little goals accomplished and big ones tackled.
Filed under: My Day | Tags: adult, alive, ariel, basketball, boy, brendan, cd, cds, chamber choir, childhood, choir, chorus, class, Damen, eighth, essay, essays, Grubbs, gym, interesting, lerew, leukemia, making music, meaningful, melody, mermaid, mr. lerew, music, musical, My Day, personal, piece, poignant, quotes, Ruth, sarcasm, sarcastic, serious, today, tres, unexpected, walker, Writing
I am busy uploading the nine CDs Katie made me into my iTunes.
I loooovelovelove music (durrh), but I don’t get much of a chance to hear the contemporary stuff. Or really, any stuff besides classical and showtunes.
Soo, I am excited. Nine CDs. KT surely is my hero :D
I am currently listening to “The Little Mermaid”– still from a musical– but hey, I didn’t have it before… I freakin’ love music. Now, if dad would only shut off the boob tube and I could listen without worrying if it will bother him.
Hum da dum. There’s a lot to write about today, I’m just not sure about where to start. I think I’ll just wing it with my stream of consciousness and see what happens. Transitions from thought to thought might not be so hot. Haha.
Alright, so– today in chamber choir, we only sang for about seven minutes, but in those few short moments I felt like I was actually making music– and I have never felt that way when it comes to chamber. I always felt that, okay, this is a fun class, I learn some things and use my vocal chords. That’s good enough for me, I can make music on my own time. But today, we made melody come alive. And it was exciting.
We began the class with a powerpoint presentation. Mr. Lerew read off the slides, which all were comprised of quotes he took from our essays. We each were required to compose an essay based on what we were able to take fr0m one of our pieces, “How Can I Keep from Singing?” (arr. Gwyneth Walker). I, personally, think that the essays were a great idea. We all seemed to have essentially the same ideas about the piece, despite the numerous differences in our choir. The Walker speaks of music as a rock– it can help one get through anything. And it’s true.
The thoughts that were aired today in class were very meaningful, but the most poignant moment in class occurred when Mr. Lerew discussed his feelings about the piece, and what it means to him.
It turns out that our distinguished, sarcastic, and entertaining but serious teacher was diagnosed with leukemia when he was in eighth grade. I can tell you right now that my jaw dropped. My heart went out to that little boy, forced out of childhood so rudely, with such a serious condition. I felt like I understood my teacher a little more, now that he’d shared that very personal (or so it seemed to me) piece of his life with us. That was a pretty meaningful (and unexpected) part of my day.
Oh, and on a lighter note, Brendan, Damen, Grubbs, Ruth and I schooled up in basketball today.
Kick Drum Heart 