Filed under: My Day, Random Thoughts | Tags: acid addict, acid tripper, addict, after, albeit, america, army, assembly of god, axe murdering, back room, bank, bastard, belief, believe, break, brendan, bruised, bruises, buddy, church, cleanup, cocky, cocky bastard, coffee, commander in chief, community, cuts, day, dedicated, delicately, demonic, deserve, die, dirty, distracted, doesn't, downtown, drill sergeant, emotionally starving, everywhere, exhausted, floating, fridge, friends, God, good, great, hammer, hate, heart, heart like a kick drum, high school, hit, holy, home, hour, hsbc, hungry, impressed, interesting, introduces, james, judge, kick drum, kick drum heart, know, life, love, loyalty, lunch, maggots, man, military, mom, monday, moose, moron, mr. omniscient, my heart, obama, obviously, only, penchant, people, people-reading skills, politely, rambling, respect, see right through, skylar, sore, sorry, spirit, spiritually starving, start, starving, strange, stride, strong-arm, student's, sub-flooring, sun-tanned, sweaty, tan, the avett brothers, The Flood, think, thinking, thought, thought process, time, tired, today, trainees, training, training base, two gods, understand, united states, united states of america, upstanding, usa, volunteer, volunteer base, walk, well..., whatever, work, worked, yesterday
8:14 AM
8/19/09
My heart’s, my heart’s like a kick drum. Ba bum-bum-bum-bum-bump. I’m exhausted, sore. As the strange army guy we worked with on Monday would say, emotionally starving. Or was it spiritually? Whatever.
I hate it when people think they know you upon meeting you. This man comes up to Brendan, Skylar, James and I at Assembly of God and introduces himself, tells us he was/is a drill sergeant at some military training base. He’s going back to Iraq next month. Now, that’s all well and good and interesting until he asks us what we’re doing after high school. So we tell him, and then he begins rambling about the army and how after an hour talking to his students/trainees/maggots/whatever he can see right through them.
Yes, great. So what do you see in me, Mr. Omniscient? Who exactly do you think you are, you cocky bastard?
Brendan asks him the same thing, albeit much more politely.
“So what do you know about me?”
He doesn’t break stride in informing Brendan that he believes Brendan to be an upstanding guy and dedicated to his community.
Well, obviously, moron. He’s only tired-looking, dirty, and at the volunteer base, sun-tanned and sweaty. However, one might take him for a demonic acid addict with a penchant for axe murdering.
Let’s just say I wasn’t so impressed with Military’s people-reading skills. He started speaking to us– four kids– about God and the military next. About how war is necessary, and if God has a strong-arm, the United States is it.
I can understand and respect the guy’s loyalty, but God is the only one who can judge who deserves to die and who doesn’t. And as Brendan very delicately pointed out, it seems like believing that is like serving two gods.
The Commander in Chief isn’t holy, sorry, buddy.
…….
Now I’m on to another thought process. Just kind of floating along, here. I had to go make the coffee and put my mom’s lunch in the fridge in the back room and now I’m wondering when Brendan will get here, so I’m a little distracted.
I’m so sore. I don’t want to have to walk from the bank to the relocated base at the Moose. I’m all bruised up and scratched. It’s a satisfied battered, but I feel like the hammer I smashed repeatedly into my hand yesterday hit everywhere else, too. And now Brendan’s here. Time to start another day.
Filed under: Events | Tags: afterparty, annoyed, bet, chill, college, cool, coronation, Dreams, explanation, fantastic, five, friends, fun, funkytown, gay, homecoming, ignore, kevin brown, letdown, nice, party, shut up, stupid, timmy ho's, unnecesssary, wasn't, well..., why?
I hate feeling like I need to act a certain way around someone just because others expect me to act that way.
If I want to hug someone, I’m going to go hug them. If I want to push someone into another person so they’ll dance together, I’ll do it (even if that attempt was unsuccessful). : )
And if I want to ignore someone, I’m damn well going to.
I am, by no means, required to acknowledge anyone. If I wanted to act like a jerk, I could treat everyone like they were below me. I could patronize my friends and act like a pompous asshole.
I could if I wanted to, but I don’t. I generally like people. I mean, if someone treats me rudely, I’ll ignore them, because it would appear to me as if they don’t care. If they don’t care, I usually don’t, either. But I’ve learned to expect anything from anyone, because you never know when someone will surprise you.
However, if I choose to ignore someone who I’ve already been surprised by (multiple times), I don’t require an explanation for my behavior. Bitches.
Last night, I went to a friend’s house after homecoming and a visit to Timmy Ho’s: it eventually ended up being nice because I was with Emma, Hannah, and Stephen (and Derrek for a little while). but also pretty gay, because by the time Ben and Craig left, Derrek had to leave too, so we sat there afterward and chilled. Chillfully. Okay, cool. I don’t mind that. But it could have been so much more fun, and it wasn’t. The whole first hour and a half there I sat and thought, Wow, please shut up.
Why? Because I don’t give a shit if some college girl took a dump in the middle of a hallway. Believe it or not, that kind of grosses me out.
It was freaking homecoming, and we got to hear badly-delivered “funny” stories from the grown-up college boys. Were the stories supposed to be impressive? Funny? Interesting? Was I somehow supposed to be eager to go to college all of a sudden, or what?
Ennui took over. I texted, and sat in the same chair as Stephen, who also texted. The entire time.
And as much as I wanted to stay over at Hannah’s, I guess I was glad to have gone home. I got in the car, lost a five dollar bet, cleaned the bathroom (which had been messy after a rushed getting-ready party) and deflated the air mattress, then fell asleep listening to Funkytown, which for some reason was playing at 1:45 in the morning. I replaced lyrics with “won’t you take me to– Kevin Brooooown” and drifted into dreamland. There, I had an interesting dream involving some grinding, a brown floor, and a guy in a blue shirt.
But except for the beginning of coronation and the beginning of the afterparty, homecoming was faaaantastic. I had fun, and in the long run, that’s what I’m going to remember, instead of being annoyed.
Kick Drum Heart 