Kick Drum Heart

It’s my last day of tests this year. I’m done. Finito. I’m still going to be busy, obviously, but aside from going in next Thursday to roll on the snare for an hour and then practice the senior song with chamber choir, I’m done with school until September. It’s finally summer.

So I’m mostly sitting here harmonizing with the great Avett Brothers and wasting the day away. I figured as long as I was online and in a mellow, tranquil mood, I could try and write.

While I’m thinking of mellow and tranquil, I still am wearing my red bandana. I didn’t know Daniel, but the fact that he never got to do all he needed or wanted to do inspires me daily to get out there. To improve myself, to make some kind of effort to do what I want to before my time is done with. I look at the bandana and I think it. I look at the bandana and I can see his face: I know it from pictures, I know it from the wake. I look at the bandana and replacing the red is white skin and blonde hair, blue eyes and the peaceful face of the cousin I never knew. I don’t see him sleeping, as he appeared in his coffin. I see him smiling the truly excellent smile everyone says they will miss. I never knew it to miss it. I wish I had known him.

Well, I guess that’s what the mellow mood produced. Faint melancholy and a regurgitation of my thoughts from the past few months. Here’s another interesting thought: I went to Medusa’s the week after Daniel died, to get my hair done for prom. I’m going there next Thursday to get it cut. It’s interesting to think that everything revolves that way, or maybe it feels like it does. The world keeps spinning even when something so unthinkable happens it seems to stop. But life goes on, turning, turning. So interesting.