Filed under: My Day, Random Thoughts | Tags: appreciate, caution, cousin, daniel, daniel dix, death, drive, fun, learning, life, living, moment, need, occasion, outrageous, premature, red bandana, safe, something, thankful, thanks, the avett brothers, time, try, wind
It’s something to think about, isn’t it, that almost a year later I’m still grateful to Daniel’s memory. Without it, I would never have grasped mortality, would never have developed such a drive, a need to live like I have.
I’m not saying I’ve lived outrageously (re: the Avetts’ “Talk on Indolence”) but I know the difference now. I can play it safe and try to have fun, and, when the occasion calls for it, go nuts. Toss caution to the wind and just appreciate the moment.
It’s when I’m thinking, or going back through old blogs of mine, or looking at the red bandana that goes with me everywhere, that I remember, and am thankful. Thankful that I am here, and living, and learning from what one boy’s premature death has taught me. Thankful that I have time, and have life.
It’s just something to think about.
Filed under: Events, My Day, Random Thoughts | Tags: 43 mph zone, 97 mph, alico, avett brothers, backing, beginning, birthday, blowing up, boys, braking, brendan, burger king, car, cart, cattaraugus, celebration, certificate, christ, class, clunk, clunks, concert, cones, confused, content, cool, country, countryside, county, crack, crash, curb, cute, daily, day, dmv, doubt, drive, driven, driver, driver ed, driver ed van, driver education, driver's ed, driving, drove, drunk driving, education, experience, expressway, expressway driving, first, first day, forehead, forest, forever, freak, funny, gas leak, girls, go-karts, gowanda, green, guard rail, hands, high, hijack, hills, hitting, hold on for dear life, humor, interesting, issue, jesse, joyride, karen, katie, keys, killed, last, make-up, mark, mark and karen's, mayday, memories, memory, minnekine, miss, mother, motor vehicle, mph, mud puddle, never, next, no good, parallel parking, parents, park, parking lot, people, pizza, plus, presentation, puddle, push, red garter, red garter in, redneck, reflex, reverse, road, road group, road test, roger, salamanca, sam, sauce, schedule, school, seat, second, secondhand, secondhand crack, senior, senior year, sierra, skateland, smoking, spectacular, star wars, straight, strange, surreal, suv, texting, thanks, three point turn, time, times, tire, tires, traffic, trooper, truck, turn, van, vehicle, victoria, what the hell?, window, wright, zone
After what seems like forever– and still, like no time at all– it’s my last day of driver’s ed in Cattaraugus. Sam will pick me up at quarter after nine, we’ll arrive around ten, take our final exam, then wait around until eleven-thirty for the last road group ever with Mrs. Alico, Jesse, and Victoria.
It’s almost surreal. It hasn’t sunk in yet that I won’t have to get up at five-thirty tomorrow to go to Mark and Karen’s early. It hasn’t been quite realized that next week, I won’t have to go to Cattaraugus and see the rolling green hills and patchy forests pass me by.
It has definitely been an experience I’ll keep with me forever. Despite the hassle and the long drive, I’ve learned a lot– not just about driving– and had some interesting times with people I might never have spoken to otherwise.
Some memories…
~ first day of road group, &the first day of class.
~ “Victoria, you’re going to hit the curb” and she clunks her forehead trying to look out the window.
~ “Sam, are you straight ?!”
~ Almost getting killed by a freak driver who cut in front of us after blazing through two lanes of traffic. Thanks Sam, and her reflexive braking.
~ The first or second day of road group: Victoria saying “I’m no good at turning.” The rest of us: “Oh Christ.”
~ The Red Garter Inn and it’s spectacular view. Plans being made for a birthday/senior year celebration there for Sam, KT and I.
~ Going to Gowanda in the Driver Ed van.
~ My mother almost smoking and blowing the school up. No one told her there was a freaking gas leak in the parking lot where she was waiting for us.
~ Victoria saying, “I’m no good at backing,” and almost crashing us into a guard rail.
~ “Mayday, mayday; Mrs. Alico is not present. Do you read me, Roger? …what say we hijack the keys and take a joyride?”
Jesse: “What crack have you been smoking?”
Me: “I went to the Avett Brothers concert last night. It might be secondhand crack. Mayday, here she comes, mayday!”
~ No one hitting the cones! Not even Victoria!
~ Drunk driving while texting… in go-karts.
~ “My friend thinks the boys here are cute.” “Thanks, Sam.”
~ Redneck washing his hands in a mud puddle! the girls in class knew exactly who we were talking about, too.
~ Gripping the seat for dear life every time Victoria turned, backed, or parallel parked.
~ Going to Burger King, talking about being high and Star Wars cups and what kind of sauce to dip in.
~ Being very confused about make-ups, “I don’t think she knows what she’s talking about.”
~ Having Victoria actually be good at expressway driving… what the hell?
~ Jesse’s wry sense of humor.
~ Planning a pizza escape.
~ Actually talking to the kids from Cattaraugus, haha.
~ The ride to and from Gowanda with Mr. Wright, Sierra and Brendan. Verrrry funny.
~ Presentation day (yesterday): discovering Mr. Wright got his only ticket because he was traveling 97 mph in a 43 mph zone… Having our presentation be funny when I started talking (extremely strange)… Our delicious drawing of a tire.
~ Driving all over the countryside.
~ Talking to a cool trooper.
~ Never crashing the car.
I’m not going to miss it, but I will miss parts of it. The daily driving was a huge plus that I really would like to be able to keep doing, but I doubt it will happen. My road test is scheduled and my driver’s ed certificate should come in around the beginning of school to take money off of the insurance if I ever get a vehicle. But for now I’ll just be content driving whenever I’m allowed to, I guess, although I will push the issue. I’m busy enough without my parents having to cart me everywhere.
But it’s time to start getting ready. Only an hour and fifteen minutes before my last day of driver’s ed.
Filed under: Events, My Day, Random Thoughts | Tags: 10something, accident, admiration, alone, always, backwards, beat, beautiful, beauty, bus, busdriver, by myself, check, checking, christ, christ jesus, creation, creativity, creep, dangerous, death, deathtrap, deepfreeze, doom, douse, doused, drank, drink, drive, driver, driveway, enormous, experience, experienced, fear, fervent, few, fine, freeze, freezing, frigid, glazed, go, God, guard, guard rail, guardrail, heart, heartbeat, ice, icy, immersed, imminent, incision, january, jesus, jesus christ, land, lonely, love, mary, mind, moment, moments, myself, natural, nerve-wracking, nerves, nervous, nothing, peace, physically, plunge, plunged, protect, protective, pulse, racing, racing pulse, rail, sank, scary, scene, sharp, short, sit, skid, skin, slow, snow, snow-glazed, something, still, stillness, stood, ten, ten-something, terrified, terror, think, thinking, thought, thoughts, thump, thumping, tranquil, tranquility, um, vehicle, virgin mary, way, what, wind, winter, within, wonder, wonderland
10something AM 1/28/09 The Bus
I hate winter. I really do. I would gladly substitute snow for five months of sweltering heat.
But today, as I walked down my icy driveway to meet the bus, I was awed by God’s creativity, at his creations.
Beauty surrounded me. I don’t think I have the ability to select the choicest words to describe it.
Snow piled up soundlessly around (and on) me. The locust and spruce trees sat stoically on the front lawn and allowed themselves to be frosted by a delicate sheet of white.
The tranquility and silence after a morning of waiting and loud, beat-laden melodies was a welcome, gently settled blanket of peace.
It isn’t often I am alone. I can feel lonely, or sit by myself, but there is always someone with me physically, or checking up on me, or on my mind.
Christ Jesus and Mary. The bus almost slid into a ravine. There was no guard rail. We’re fine though. The busdriver and I. We’re fine.
Back to the snow-glazed wonderland I just stood within– it was nothing like what I just experienced. No thumping heart, racing pulse, or sharp incision of fear. No fervent thoughts like, “let’s just not go this way” or “um, there is no protective rail there.” No nerve-wracking skid or slow creep backwards in an enormous deathtrap of a vehicle.
For a few short moments this morning, I stood immersed in stillness. I wasn’t doused in frigid wind or plunged into icy deepfreeze. The natural scene placed before me sank into my skin and immersed me in love and admiration for the beauty of it all.
I walked down a driveway, and drank in the peace.
Filed under: Events, My Day, My Explanations, Random Thoughts | Tags: adjudication, adjudicator, all county, antiphon, audition, auditions, bogoroditze dievo radusia, breath, breaths, call, calling, chat, chatting, chill, cold, college, colleges, could, cross, deep, deep breaths, dickau, dogs, drive, driveway, famine song, fingers, fun, going, guess, ha, he'll make a way, hope, hours, i, if music be the food of love, literally, look, me, mom, money, mother, nerves, nyssma, nysssa, outside, paid, pay, practice, pretty, puke, rachmaninov, room, score, scores, sheets, sing, singing, solo, somewhere, stand, standing, stood, student, student's, them, thought, throw, throw up, tomorrow, vida, voice, vomit, warm, warm up, whatever, wish, wood, woods, xylophone, your
All county auditions are tomorrow. I guess, according to Robin, NYSSSA auditions are, too, because she thought I was doing one.. and I’m not. Ha ha. I wish I was. I wish I could.
But all county will be fun, and colleges won’t care if I don’t get into NYSSSA or whatever, they’re going to look and see my audition scores and NYSSMA adjudication sheets… at least, I hope so.
I am going to go practice the xylophone in my room as soon as I warm up. The dogs decided to chill (quite literally) in the woods somewhere for a few hours and mom and I were out calling for them. Then my student’s mother came and paid me, and we stood chatting in the driveway for a long while. It’s pretty cold outside.
Now I am going to practice, before nerves make me throw up. Hopefully auditions and the play tomorrow go well. Deep breaths, deep breaths, and cross your fingers.
Kick Drum Heart 