Kick Drum Heart


Eat it Meursault, I’m a week early with this essay.

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth– isn’t that the mantra humankind has clung to since law originated? Justice will be served, and the criminal will get what’s coming to them. Death will be repaid with death: it’s only right.
Thus is the intrinsically judgmental and hypocritical nature of human beings. Although each of us possess qualities just as sinful and monstrous as those of our brothers and sisters, we proceed to presume to know of and know best all that resides within any given soul.
Societies throughout the world over the course of history have taken upon themselves a personal duty to claim the lives of “evildoers.” Albert Camus writes, in the words of his protagonist, Meursault, “The papers were always talking about the debt owed to society. According to them, it had to be paid” (Camus 109). Yet it is society that insistently proclaims that the loss of life is the most tragic occurrence the world can see.
It is not unreasonable in the least to suggest (or even expect) that those guilty of offenses be punished. Imprisoned, shuttered away from those they might harm, they can bring no ill to the remainder of the population. It IS outrageous, however, to condemn a person to death. To take their life, their very existence? Would that not put the blood of a second victim upon society’s conscience? “Whereas, once again, the machine [in this case, society itself] destroyed everything: you were killed discreetly, with a little shame and with great precision” (Camus 112). That precision that the world today prides itself on should be directed less toward pointless carnage and more toward sense. To avenge one murder with a second does not alleviate loss– it elevates it. It does not eliminate grief, shelve mourning, or lessen the pain of those left to live. It only increases agony, and stirs resentment and simmering coals of rage.
A story is told in the Bible, of a sinner who is sentenced to death by stoning. Jesus was passing by, and the people looked to him for confirmation to know that their punishment was fitting. To their surprise (and some dismay), Jesus told them, “Whomever among you is blameless may cast the first stone.” Needless to point out, the criminal did not die that day.
There are no blameless of guiltless members in society to throw that stone, nor will there ever be. Who is capable of deeming whether a life should end?
The fact remains that the guilty party (like any other human) still possesses a potential and capacity for change. Meursault, a man who killed another in cold blood, is such an example. Simply because a man has done a terrible deed, he is not instantly evil. He does not transform into the devil. He is nothing more than a human being, as deserving as the next for a chance at love and redemption. Even the supposedly heartless, emotionless Meursault clamors for clemency, when his sentence (beheading) is arrayed before him. “I’d realized that the most important thing was to give the condemned man a chance. Even one in a thousand was good enough to set things right” (Camus 111). If he had not been faced with his own state-mandated demise, Meursault would have had enough time to reform, had he chose. There would have been a glimmer of opportunity there, through which he might have sought redemption. Had he time, he might have had a chance.
There was no time for Meursault. Confronted, as the clock ticked, with the possibility of the existence of a life after death, the previously Existentialist Meursault retreated into himself. He reformed, not through love, but through confusion and bitterness. He changed: but due to the reality of his looming execution he absorbed a whirling tide of rage and a lifetime of apathy. That hardened him, forced him into indifference. The rigidity of capital punishment resisted Meursault’s feeble attempts to change, and the unfortunate man’s fragile outlook shattered against it.
Nothing can rationalize the exchange of one life as the payment for another’s. The concept that a murder committed by the “people” and society is any more morally or logically sound or acceptable than a murder committed by anyone else is absurd. It does not matter that perhaps the one was innocent and the other a criminal. It doesn’t matter that one wielded a weapon. At the end of the day two families grieve. At the end of the day, two men are still dead.



Storytime

So, I have not been blogging lately, but never fear. I have been writing up a storm.

It’s always been my dream to write a book. For as long as I can remember I’ve been making up stories left and right.

Now is the time where I get to feeling like my hypothetical biological clock is ticking. NOT for children… for a book.

There are already published authors who are my age or younger. I have a great deal to contribute to the literary world and am so eager to share it!

So for the past few weeks I’ve been carrying around a simple-but-perfect black composition notebook. It’s a lot like a journal, because the story is going to be narrated by me, for the most part. It’s easier telling a story that way; reading one written by someone else always makes me feel like I am in that character’s shoes at that particular place in time. What I write is always in story form, though; I have a setting and a cast of characters and I’m trying to go crazy with it every chance I get. I think it’s working :] As soon as I fill up the notebook, I’m typing and revising the little excerpts I have, then putting them in order. And then filling in the gaps with more story. Maybe I’ll even fill a second notebook, depending on how much material I feel like I’m lacking.

Ha, but anyway. There you have it, the reason why I have neglected my blog.



O tannenbaum

Whoo! Merry Christmas!

What a day! I’ve gotten the least amount of presents numerically, but the most in value. I have a new (YELLOW) iPod nano, and a flash drive. And adorable boots, and a new Sabres bag (!) and an iPod home/alarm clock/thing, and a new skirt, and a shirt that advises onlookers to ditch their boyfriends for a musician. This is not including various stocking stuffers (mostly daily hygienic products… shampoo, lotion, etc., although I did get some sick Mary Kay eyeliner, and six new pens! I can’t help it, I love new pens… and some of these are purple :] ).

It’s awesome. Just fricken awesome.

And, for the first time, I had my own money to spend on other people. It feels phenomenal. I bought mom new (square) dishes, and Michelle now has a rubber duck, some stuffed sheep, two new sets of pajamas, and socks. All from moi. I love having money, as shallow as that sounds. That means I can be somewhat independent, and buy whatever quirky item catches my eye for my friends and family, and I love it.

Today has been a great day so far. I need to download iTunes v. 8.0 or something, though, which means my dial-up connection to the internet should be humming for, ahh, four hours plus. Oh, well. It will give me time to scan pictures for yearbook and load them onto my new flash drive! :D